So, this happened.
Anderson Cooper’s boyfriend Ben Maisani, whom the media is referring to as “hot” (and I’m referring to as “great body, okay face”) was caught kissing someone hotter than him in Central Park this past weekend. The media is calling this cheating. Based on what I know of far too many gay relationships, this might not be cheating. Granted, it is not as discreet as some handle open relationships when you’re dating someone in the public eye, but this might prove to be a lesson for those who support gay relationships.
Most gay relationships are either open or have been open at some point. Even if they have been together for 30 years, I can all but guarantee that at least 18-20 of those years were open. Sometimes threesomes and orgies happen. The lie that gay men fall prey to, in my opinion, is that men (in general) are more sexual than most and have to have variety in the relationship. Instead of having variety with your partner, they take that to mean variety with whomever shows interest with the goal being having an orgasm. The variety is in the person.
Not everyone is built like this or for this, but many straight couples do this too. “I call it enjoying life to the fullest,” as someone once told me. I feel that a mark of adulthood and responsibility within a relationship is being able to be a faithful partner. Far too often gay men seek the company of other men instead of dealing with whatever issues they are having with their partner. Straight men and women do the same. I just question why someone would choose to live together or get married if all they will be is roommates. No, I’m not built for polyamorous relationships. And I don’t think you’re better than me or more evolved if you feel that you are built for it.
I’ve just seen way too many people hurt by it in the end, but they didn’t want to speak up about it because they were afraid of losing their partner and all they built together. In the end, each one has stated that they should have just said, “No. I like you a lot, but I’m not willing to do this,” and saved themselves the headache. Yes, they were the partner that wasn’t open. And personally, I’m offended when I make clear that I date to get to see if someone is a potential partner and you go on said date(s) with me and then tell me that you’re already partnered and just looking for some fun and to meet new people.
And get mad when I don’t do a repeat.
Anyway, Ben Maisani may not be cheating, but Anderson has to play this carefully to not give all the fuel to the fire of those in favor of traditional marriage. Sure, some may be happy for him to finally come out and confirm the open secret, but I don’t know how many would be happy letting him live his life with his boyfriend the way they choose to do. Those who are in favor of gay marriage like the idea of gays getting married and staying faithful to one another. They are not ready for the seedy underbelly of it all, much of which involves 10% faithfulness with 90% being led by the brain in their pants. This kind of arrangement is whispered about far too often in gay life, and does not bode well for those one the fence about voting for gay marriage. Even though straight people will have affairs, open marriages, get married for money, get married for military benefits and off-base housing, get married to appease their families, and get married because they accidentally became an expecting couple, they will not stand for gay men doing what has been shown in the media as all that gay men do (sex, sex, drugs, sex, alcohol, and more sex).
Also, I thought that Anderson only dated sexy Brazilian twinks. Are they just for fun in the same way that many Asians and 3-5 Blacks per year are just for fun for well-to-do white men? Do the Brazilian twinks make regular appearances at the Cooper/Maisani townhouse?
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