Where do I begin. Let’s start with what happened around midnight Friday morning.
1. Kim Kardashian tweeted that she was making soul food for her “baby” Kanye West. My issues with this:
- You’re not black and you’re trying to sound cute about traditionally black food.
- You called it “soul food”. Just say you’re frying chicken and warming up some Glory Greens.
- Who calls it soul food when they’re cooking it except for people who aren’t black?
- She’s SO thirsty it’s unreal.
Then Kim proceeded to prove to us all that she wasn’t lying when she posted a picture of the food, calling herself the luxury chef of Hermes soul food. See, what she did was make some struggle green beans, small fried chicken wings, decent-looking macaroni & cheese, and some dry potato casserole dressing, and placed it on an Hermes plate. I thought she donated her wedding gifts to charity? I guess she kept some of them for grand occasions such as this.
Needless to say, she was relentlessly dragged on Twitter and I laughed a lot before I fell asleep.
2. I get to work and start working, not getting online until well after 11 a.m.. I then read that Lauryn Hill is facing jail time for pleading guilty to tax evasion. I don’t want her to go to jail! Let’s be responsible, though. Who is going to watch her township of children? You know Rojan ain’t feeling Ms. Hill’s doo wop no more, so it remains to be seen.
3. Soon after reading that I read that Adele has gone and just rudely pushed Beyonce and Jay-Z up on out of the way with baby news (until Beyonce is pregnant again, at least). That’s right, Adele is expecting. If Adele’s voice is that great, can you imagine the sheer greatness of that child’s voice? Hopefully. We still don’t know what Bobby Kristina can do and both of her parents can/could sing. (Whitney is gone, y’all! *feels this again for a minute*)
It was good while it lasted, forever shoeless Blue Ivy!
4. Finally, Katie Holmes’s contract of indentured servitude to Tom Cruise has not been renewed Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are getting divorced. This is news that I’m sure has shocked everyone worldwide because their marriage seemed so sincere and real. Let’s think of Suri and how she’ll have to grow up with parents in two locations now. Let’s also think of Katie’s career, which will probably see a return to her former status of…um…working actress. (I seriously only liked Abandon from her repertoire. Is that the right word? I don’t care. She’s about to get a handsome settlement from complying with her contract demands for so long and for properly carrying a child to term from in vitro fertilization, and Tom is about to jump up and down on some more couches but not for professing love for Katie but love for something else more upstanding while I sit here not paid.)
I don’t think there’s much more news I can take today.
Oh, and then there’s this – my mom texted me to tell me that while she and my dad were riding on the highway in the middle lane at about 75 mph the car shuts off and they safely coasted to the shoulder. They got a tow to a nearby dealer, left the car to be repaired, and rented another one and are on their way. Thank God for them surviving that and that I still have my parents today. It could have been nasty.
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