I went to therapy today just for one little appointment (I go from time to time when I reach a “wall” where I can’t figure out things through prayer, friends, etc.) to find out why I was internalizing so much rejection from my recent dating experiences.
It all came down to that I am looking for validation and verification that I’m the awesome child of God that I am in others. I wanted them to give that to me and that can only come from within (God). I went through this in 2005-2006 and had a six-month pseudo relationship with someone that was so emotionally dependent that it felt like a real breakup (tears, lack of sleep, constant talking about it) when we went our separate ways.
I don’t want to do that again.
So, back I go to God (He has His ways of pulling me back in) to recharge and see myself as He sees me – bathed in robes of righteousness through Jesus. Yeah, I’m imperfect and have a lot of flaws I’m working on, but this does not need to be one of them.
And to think that I wasn’t going to book a session today…
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Great post. Thanks for being so vulnerable. I see a therapist twice a month myself.