Not to slight anyone I know who has done the subject of this post, but I have often wondered why I am still single while so many others aren’t single. I have seen some people who do not know what they want end up in what they think they was as far as a relationship is concerned and it’s worked out terribly for them. I’ve seen people wind up in relationships when they know what they want, but it was too soon and worked out terribly for them.
I know of about two flukes in this cycle, though. Granted, you never know fully what someone is going through behind closed doors, but for these flukes to still be going after 7 and 12 years, I think they’re pretty much building something worthwhile – hopefully.
Then there are others who move too fast. They meet someone and immediately either sleep with them or declare they undying love by the end of the second date. They move in together after a few months of dating because they’re tired of choosing whose house in which to spend the night. They claim that everything feels “right”. Things that are worth having take time, most times. My parents didn’t move fast like that. Most successful couples I know didn’t move all that fast.
Is it desperation or an honest feeling of feeling that something was right? Sadly, I’ve also seen where these quick-and-fast relationships have burned out within a year or less, but some people don’t seem hip to the cycle yet. Whereas one comes off one their relationship, another starts one. One relationship is falling apart faster than a bridge in a powerful earthquake and another relationship is hiring U-Haul. Are we constantly looking for that one time to be right; that one time to prove to everyone that it can work in the same way that we’ve been trying it for so long?
My heart goes out to those who are losing relationships. I know your heart hurts and if it was longer, I’m sure it wasn’t a sudden buildup. However, for me, I know what I want in and out of a relationship, and I hope I’m not excited enough to just jump into something without thinking on some level. “Go with the feeling and just live it!” works well in scripted Hollywood movies with happy endings. Doing that in life leaves you with scars. My gut feeling has left me single a long time now. I usually see what I avoided by listening to it, and for that I’m thankful. I’ve dodged some bullets and cannonballs. I make mistakes enough on my own without added help. LOL
I’m just wondering what leads to this mindset that leads to the same action that leads to the same result each time. Is it desperation? Rebellion? Fear of being alone? Loneliness?